then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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