the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
