So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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