some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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