Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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