Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
