He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
