3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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