community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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