Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Randomize
