So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My penis needs a shock collar
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
