i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
