people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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