He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I forget how to act sober
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
