he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
