it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
