neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I will be naked everywhere
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
