I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
