i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
