moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize