If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
