Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
