i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
