please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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