Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
