just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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