he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am one with the molecules
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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