do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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