Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
