Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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