so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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