it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
