he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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