the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
