He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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