dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
