You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
