# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
