His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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