omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
