Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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