Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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