Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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