I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
