Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
