Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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