the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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