bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
