I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize