Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
