If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
