Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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