community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
