where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize