I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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