your thong is hanging out like whoa
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
