PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize