I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
