I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize