I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
