Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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