The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
