My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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