Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
