Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
