My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
