That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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