This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
