Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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