now i know why i became what i already was.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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