It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
