Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
